break down

my body broke down yesterday..

i don't know what gotten into me.. after i had my lunch with yen and t. lyn, a man approached us and he's asking for some donation in order for him to buy medicines for someone who have asthma. we said we had nothing to give so he walked away.

then it happened, i broke down and cried hard. my hands were shaking.

prior to that, i was experiencing difficulty in breathing. it started last week.

its just that i know im tired but i can't do anything about it. i know i have responsibilities and the 3-day break i had last weekend wasn't a big help.

so yesterday, knowing i still have to go to bicutan for my next kid, i broke down.

my mom fetched me up, i know i couldn't travel on my own.

early this day, i went to the doctor to know what's wrong. after the ECG and the x-ray, i learned that everything is normal.

but i acquired these medical conditions:

1. allergic rhinitis - occurs when your immune system overreacts to particles in the air that you breathe—you are allergic to them. Your immune system attacks the particles, causing symptoms such as sneezing and a runny nose. The particles are called allergens, which simply means they can cause an allergic reaction. (thanks internet, i didn't know i am sensitive)

2. hyperventilation - this is probably the reason why i had difficulty in breathing. according to wikipedia "hyperventilation (or overbreathing) is the state of breathing faster and/or deeper than necessary, thereby reducing the carbon dioxide concentration of the blood below normal. " its common causes are stress and anxiety. now i know.


everyone! let's take a break!


i don't want another break down..

sometimes, you deserve a break..

a break from the untiring challenges of this world..
a break from the irate situations arising all over the place..
a break from thinking "What will happen next?"..
a break from loving, trusting, hating...

sometimes, you deserve a break.

because if you don't, psychiatric help are very expensive nowadays.

a love song for my own Zahir

i wrote this song the day i've realized i am nothing to him.
the day after, we texted and everything is alright again. haay.. im in love.

Song for my own Zahir

My mind is spinning with thoughts of you
I dreamt of you again last night
I can't tell you I'm loving you
And that we can make it right

*I'll try to say what I feel the best way I can
So let me start by asking you one by one

~Where is the way to your heart?
How can I make you love me?
What can I give for us to start?
When will our time be?
Why do I have to feel this way when you can't give your heart away?
Answer my questions then I'll be okay..

My feelings are growing deeper
With each day that I am living
But I still can't find the words to tell
That you're the reason I'm smiling

*I'll try to say what I feel the best way I can
So let me start by asking you one by one

~Where is the way to your heart?
How can I make you love me?
What can I give for us to start?
When will our time be?
Why do I have to feel this way when you can't give your heart away?
Answer my questions then I'll be okay..

Save me from this melancholic longing
I want this feelings free
I'm tired of the pain from unsure waiting
So you have to tell me..

*I'll try to say what I feel the best way I can
So let me start by asking you one by one

~Where is the way to your heart?
How can I make you love me?
What can I give for us to start?
When will our time be?
Why do I have to feel this way when you can't give your heart away?
Answer my questions then I'll be okay..



i hope my highschool friend can put music into it na..

forgive me my friends.. inlababo ata tlga.. haay..

bittersweet memories of 2007

-our thesis and the panelists
-my ojt at Landbank
-Battle of the Bands, Championship Game, and the 3rd place award for the Out2groove competition
-my date with Mikko on Valentines day
-SMIIC Friendship Party at MOA (performed dance routine at the Music Hall)
-defense
-PsychFed quiz bee (a very stressful situation)
-Graduation practice
-Graduation at PICC
-Infanta outing with some life wreckers
-Job interviews
-Met Mike, the last person who broke my heart.
-went to Galera with my family
-my childhood friend's dad died, causing me sleepless yet fun-filled nights at the wake with Mike
-Intervention Partners trainings for aspiring Behavioral therapists
-25k outing at Villa Julia
-Volleyball league
-inuman sessions with the "Night shifts"
-seeing Pia again after almost a year
-20 days of laughters with Mike, loving him in silence
-Almost had the perfect relationship with him, until he disappeared in my life without explaining why
-worked at Pasig as BT, trying to forget what happened last summer
-lived in my cousin's house
-the eternal optimist came into my life through margz
-numerous dinners, night outs, and parties
- IP sportsfest
-bought my first and second havaianas, crocs, and ipanema
-went out with the eternal optimist
-watched regine's concert
-death of a grandmother
- lived in Bangkal as a bedspacer
-got a year older


it's time to put my 2007 planner to rest.

time to shine this 2008!


follow dreams..

fall in love..

make it happen..